Dear Evie,

I love you.

  You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and the best thing I never knew I needed.
Yesterday we went to see "Brave". You asked me why Merida and her mother were always fighting.
I'm sure, that there will come a time when you and I will fight that way.

But I promise, I'll love you anyway.

The day I found out I was pregnant, I thought my life was over. I wept. I raged. And it took me a very long time to accept it. But then I remember the first time I felt you move in my belly. It was a giant kick and I knew that you were a person and you would be fierce.

I loved you at that moment, and have loved you ever since.

I didn't think that I could love a baby, because in my opinionated youth I thought that babies were little demons, stinking and screaming and needy. I could barely take care of myself. But I was 25 and getting older and surprises happen. Despite all precautions taken. Miracles can happen.

But I loved you.

I remember the day they put you in my arms and I just couldn't stop staring at you. This piece of me and piece of him and piece of magic. You wouldn't nurse, no matter how heroically we tried, you just wouldn't, so we had to feed you breast milk from a bottle. 

And you grew.

This blog is for me and you. To chronicle the things I want to tell you that you are still too young to understand.

Someday, maybe you'll read it. And maybe that will be a day when you and I have been fighting like Merida and her mother. And maybe you'll understand that I have given my entire life to you. And that even though we may have said some terrible things, You'll know that I love you.

My little Evie Rose Sweetie Pie Tinkerbell.  Because Denny just doesn't sound like a name for a princess.

Forever,
Your mother.